Husband MLc need help#3

[bttrfly]

Stella, I have good news and bad news. The good news: nothing else will ever come close to hurting as much as this. The bad news: this is going to take a while. It's a process. Once you get through this (and you WILL), you will not believe how much stronger you will be, and how much confidence you will have in yourself and your own abilities.

I know none of this is much of a comfort now. LH isn't wrong about blocking your stbx. I couldn't do it, but I did eventually get really good at not answering and letting him go to voicemail. That way I could gird my loins, so to speak, before listening to his messages.

Stella, I strongly suggest you take this time to try to figure out some things about YOU. What are your core values? Easy question? Well, dive deeper. Really think about what makes you YOU. What are the qualities you most admire in others. Which of those qualities do you embody? What is most important to you? Really important to do this exercise. I know when you're feeling so full of grief it's hard to focus on anything else, but spend even 5 minutes a day just focusing on YOU and what YOU want and what your core values are will help you.

Once I really understood my core values I could see so clearly how I wanted to proceed with my life, and most especially with the divorce negotiations. I used my core values as my yardstick for my behavior and responses to exh. Did I do it perfectly? Most assuredly NOT, but I had a standard to shoot for. From there it was a lot easier to figure out what I wanted, what was important to ME. If my husband followed along, great. If not, at least I was closer to a life that had meaning to ME.

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time right now. It won't always be like this, but since it is like this right now, be very gentle with yourself. xoxoxo