He is in this minimalist lifestyle. He does not have cable or internet and last I heard he says he is going back to a flip phone.
I am not saying this isn't correct info but you could still also implement an email policy. His minimalist is not your problem. If he absolutely NEEDED to get in touch with you. He would.
Originally Posted by KitCat
If it weren't for the last 2 business items - 1 is just complicated with lots of hoops and trying to hire a lawyer out of state that you've never met and 2 will require that XH, myself and my son all be present for -- hopefully that is done by summer time, I would definitely go NC. These are the last 2 things on the D that have to be checked off..
You can still go NC other than business stuff. It requires you to set boundaries though which you struggle with (which is okay). Not just for him but for yourself.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm serious when I say that we have not gone more than 10 days in the last 2+yr without contact. I get to a place where I realize its been several days and I won't lie, I get anxious but then he checks in... and then I really get anxious because is it ever going to be over??? Its like both things make me anxious.
This makes sense. Change is uncomfortable. So is the unknown. It took me months to be okay with NC. Texts, Emails, Phone calls just wrecked my week... eventually the time got shorter but the emotions never clearly went away... finally I just got tired of being in emotional pain. I hope this isn't the case for you... that nothing changes until the hurt gets too much... but sometimes that is life and the only way we listen.
Originally Posted by KitCat
But, I don't want to stay stuck here.
As they say sh*t or get off the pot!
I need to find my peace. I need to stop counting those 10 days.
This is 100% in your control but it involves digging deep within to see why you are doing this. Be brave.. and know that whatever reason you may have is okay. Loss of your most intimate relationship is devastating. Learning to cope, heal, grow, move forward... is a two step forward/one step back process
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
