About 5 years ago when I was in thick of my situation there was another poster here who I became really good friends with outside of the board. We are still friends to this day and text with each other often.
She could not let go of her ex-husband. She continued to sleep with him even when he was living with OW. She did this for 4 years hoping it would draw him back in. She became the OW and he happily took advantage of the situation. There was absolutely nothing I could do to talk sense into her so I just let her live her life how she saw fit.
About a year ago, she became bored of the situation and decided to move on with her life. She blocked him and went NC. About 3 months later, he became obsessed with her. He even dumped his fiance as a sign of his commitment. By then it was too late, and she had lost all feelings for him. But he does still check in every few weeks and ask her out, to no avail.
It pretty ironic how when you truly let them go (and mean it), they often come back around.
I very much appreciate the insight!!!
If it weren't for the last 2 business items - 1 is just complicated with lots of hoops and trying to hire a lawyer out of state that you've never met and 2 will require that XH, myself and my son all be present for -- hopefully that is done by summer time, I would definitely go NC. These are the last 2 things on the D that have to be checked off.
The 30 day detox is NOT trying to get him to miss me. It really is because I'm just at a hard place emotionally after yesterday. Just 2mo ago this was all light hearted fun but not yesterday.
I'm serious when I say that we have not gone more than 10 days in the last 2+yr without contact. I get to a place where I realize its been several days and I won't lie, I get anxious but then he checks in... and then I really get anxious because is it ever going to be over??? Its like both things make me anxious.
Despite all that has happened when we are in person together, it just flows. Like no time has passed. There is no naked awkwardness because you know that person flaws and all. We can sit in the jacuzzi bath just talking and I'm like - that's a new mole on your shoulder. There becomes a weird type of comfort there.
But, I don't want to stay stuck here.
As they say sh*t or get off the pot!
I need to find my peace. I need to stop counting those 10 days.
