I decided I needed a good 60 to 90 days but frankly better set a goal of 30 days. That's at least 3 times the longest time we have ever gone and won't seem so impossible.
That's an excellent goal. What steps will you take to achieve a better outcome than before?
In the past, you relied on him not contacting you "Now there's no reason, this time he'd never reach out!". Inevitably he did. Willpower helped, but he kept probing until he found a new angle--puppies, quick questions, or kind comments he'd NEVER said before. You may have waited 10 days to reach out, but was typically inside your head sooner than that.
I'm at 8 months no contact with the long-term, live-in XGF who brought me here, and 2 months no contact with my last XGF. Blocking is the forum's usual recommendation. It's HARD to do but frees you completely from their attempts to reel you in, detoxes you. I did send a message to my last XGF informing her I was blocking her to be polite.
You don't have to do the same thing as me. But to achieve an outcome 3x better than before, you have to do something very different than before, or you'll end up at 14 days not 30 days.
So at this point I really can't block him. We still have 2 business items to wrap up from the D. He is currently working on one and its a huge pain in the arse. There will be a point that we will have to meet for docs - I'm hoping it can be done via mail but there are a lot of stupid hoops to jump through for this.
His texts are muted so that if he does text I won't see them right away.
Unless it requires my response as in a business item... I just won't respond. I'm just too emotionally exhausted right now.
As LH said unless he truly shows me something big it just isn't worth my energy.
