Yes, I should have said I understand, but instead, I asked him what he ment by that. Was he talking about mowing the lawn or doing chores around the house? H was always the planner, always had to make sure everyone was having fun. Coming up with games to play so that everyone was interacting. Took care of his Grandma. He never had to take care of me, we took care of each other. At least thats what I thought.
Have I done anything special for him, not in recent years. I would always pick out cards for him that spoke to my love for him. I would pick up a shirt or small gifts while out shopping that I knew he would like. But grand gestures, no I don't think so. For this last xmas, before I knew he was going to move out, I had our the lyrics to our first dance song from our wedding, printed on a canvas. Too little too late. I always told him how much I loved him, how good he looked in certain shirts, how it brought out his eyes, how handsome he was. I would smoother his face with kisses, grab his behind, hug him, touch him. Smile when I would see him.
Yes, we got into a rut the last few years, got too comfortable, going through the routines of everyday life, but I never doubted our commitment to each other.
I feel so lost without him, I don't know how to get through this. Talking with him does nothing. My love and belief in our M, means nothing. Just through it all away and move on
