I’m still feeling kind of down. And I may have Covid. I felt really stressed on Saturday, then Sunday I felt really shut down and tired. By Monday I had a sore throat, I was pretty stuffy, and my temperature was up (but still below a fever). Luckily I work from home, so I’m able to isolate. I did go out for a PCR test today as my rapid test showed negative.

I’m in this weird place where I know I don’t want my H back, where I realize that he was extremely selfish throughout our MR, and that I really was doing most of the work on our relationship. So I know I am better off without him, and that the future is what I make of it. I just think I’m so tired of all the stress between the fall of the MR, handling selling my house, and moving into a temporary apartment, that I’m just tired. So tired of having to make decisions. But I also realize that I am not alone in all of this. All of us that have gone through what we have have moments of being tired. The pandemic and all the uncertainty in the world has us tired. Yet, knowing this, I still find it hard just to move forward.

I am trying to embrace the moments and give myself care. I just wish I could jump forward past all of this and be in my new life already.

El

Me 52, H 56
T10 M7, 2nd MR for both
2 Step Sons (19 and 21)
BD: Fall 2020
D finalized: July 2022
XH Married AP soon after D day.