Tomorrow’s D Day. The last two nights of sleep haven’t been great but I’m on a ski trip with my kids which helps a lot. It all breaks my heart but this will end six years of torture. I still struggle to believe it. And I’m surprised she never reached out to talk or have one last chat about our lives. Of course that would have made it harder.
So I’ll get up tomorrow morning and sign the final paperwork and then begin to move assets. I have an IC appointment scheduled an hour after and I get my kids the next two nights. Anyhow, that’s where things are at.
I read another thread where you mentioned 2/28 was D-day and planned to reach out. I completely understand your emotions. It's tough. Glad you have time w/the kids and an IC session scheduled. That should help. Hang in there.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Not sure if you remember this day or not. I just thought she would. Not saying what would come of it. And I know it would have been a nightmare in reality if she did. I’m just processing emotions.
Grief does not obey your plans, or your wishes. Grief will do whatever it wants to you, whenever it wants to. In that regard, grief has a lot in common with Love. - Elizabeth Gilbert
Not sure if you remember this day or not. I just thought she would. Not saying what would come of it. And I know it would have been a nightmare in reality if she did. I’m just processing emotions.
Disappointment, sorrow and sadness.
I do not remember this day. My guess is you would have gotten kicked in the nuts again. I would suggest to you no deep conversations unless it’s about your children. All those feelings are valid. You are not only mourning the ending of your marriage you are mourning your future as how you once saw it. The good news is that not one single person alive knows what the future holds.
Tomorrow’s D Day. The last two nights of sleep haven’t been great but I’m on a ski trip with my kids which helps a lot. It all breaks my heart but this will end six years of torture. I still struggle to believe it. And I’m surprised she never reached out to talk or have one last chat about our lives. Of course that would have made it harder.
So I’ll get up tomorrow morning and sign the final paperwork and then begin to move assets. I have an IC appointment scheduled an hour after and I get my kids the next two nights. Anyhow, that’s where things are at.
Scott, you've come a long way in the l last year and a half. As I've told you before I have no doubt you've set yourself up for an awesome life. And I think you'll be an even better father from this point forward. Just the next step in that process! You've got this!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
So sorry Scott. D Day is tough…but only as tough as you make it. Six years is a long time to be worrying about a divorce and then anticipating one. At least that part is over with. Focus on your kids and all of the gains you’ve made in self-improvement and growth. This won’t change and will set you up for a future relationship…not the one you thought you would have with your W but with someone who will be appreciative of you and everything you have to offer.
You are no longer living in limbo which is a really good thing. Open up your mind…and your heart…to the world of possibilities that await. I guarantee that a few years from now, you will look back on this time and be amazed at how far you have come. (((HUGS)))
It was quick, 15 minutes. I felt a little cold and distant. There was a moment I debated being snarky to throw shade at her, but what’s the point. She began to cry at the end and getting on the call it looked like she had been crying. I guess her grieving also makes sense, and I recognize how different the two of us are - it’s just hard for me to comprehend crying during the divorce proceeding that I fought for and wanted.
So next step for me will be working through an annulment process with my church. For me that will bring true closure if I can get it. We also still have to actually do the work of dividing the assets, which will suck to work on but I figure by the end of March everything should be divided and I will have filed for my annulment.
It’s just one foot in front of the other.
It is nice that it’s starting to feel like spring. Love the longer days. Hope to snowboard one more time or two and then go n to biking and kayaking.
