I guess, I just don't understand the whole A aspect of MLC. This just cuts me the deepest. H and I talked all the time, we knew couples that went through A's. We both saw the destuction and pain it caused close friends. He always believed and swore he would never do this, he never saw the point in them. We (I thought) were always on the same page on the journy of our life together. To turn so completely away from me and cut me out of his life like this, to replace me with that disgusting OW. How does a person come back from that? He says he is in love, what happen to love he felt for me?
((Stella)) One thing you will learn over time is that so many stories are so very alike. It's like bttrfly said - there must be some sort of "kit" that comes with all the lines to say.
My xW's father was a cheater and everyone knew. Her mother stuck by him but my xW knew how much it hurt her over and over and over again. She swore she would never cheat on me and bragged about how faithful she was. When acquaintances were found to have cheated she was very much "holier than thou" and said that she was disgusted by the person and their actions and generally cut them out of her life.
Once she crossed the line from what I assume was an emotional affair with OM to physical, then the cold "shark eyes" and arrogance came to the forefront. It's like in that "Men in Black" movie where there's the cockroach alien inside the "Edgar Suit"
She's still with OM all these years later and I believe tries to spin the story that she never cheated which sadly most people really don't care about and many I'm sure don't believe. I've not cared what she says to who for many years although as I'm sure you can understand it bothered me a lot at the beginning.
One thing that might perhaps be helpful to think about and I think is going to be the case in your situation, is that people with the fundamental character flaw that allows them to cheat get worse over time. My father-in-law was a charming cheerful man when I met him in his 60s. In his 70s and 80s he was just grossly creepy.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
