Hello my sweet friend. I don't come here often. Really just to check in and see how you are doing.

Our childhood does affect us for life, doesn't it? We just have to try to acknowledge it and do the best we can.

You always were so hard on yourself, sweetie. You are amazing. You know that. How I wish I had accomplished all that you have.

Congrats to little G...she is amazing, too. She may have gotten his math brain..but the rest...all you. Say hi to her for me.

So, we all know that negative self talk isnt good for us, but, talk we do, right? It is a habit, and it does serve its purpose sometimes in propelling us forward.

I know you long for a happy, loving, supportive relationship. I believe you will have one, one day. I do. I have come to truly see that it happens when it is supposed to.

Maybe you have some more inner work to do. Maybe you have to see yourself as we do. Maybe you have to get out of your head some.

I believe, and really what the heck do I know, that we should always be true to who we are. I dont mean we need to show our potential partners all the "stuff" we hold. G-d knows, that would have sent R running...lol. But I didnt pretend to be anyone other than who I am. I actually told him some of my stuff on the first date. Just put it out there. Was it the right thing to do? Who knows? I am sure he thought a lot about it and gave it some time to see just how bad it really was. I dont know. I just knew that I wasnt going to play any games. I was just going to be the me I had finally become and learned to love somewhat.

Not sure where I was going with all of this. LOL. I guess I am saying that maybe you think too much about it all sometimes. What to do, what to say, how to act. And that maybe, when you truly embrace all that you are, and you stop thinking about the whatifs and what should be's..things happen.

So, try not to think about you not having another chance at a family because you dont know that to be true. Stop comparing yourself to others and just be wonderful you.

I do believe that even if we dont realize it, we give off certain things. And that maybe, people can sense what is inside your head and heart and they dont know what to do with it.

As for the red flags, I agree with Don, depends on what they are. Heck, I have red flags all over me...lol..R looked past them. I looked past his..

Mindset, sweetie. Change yours a bit. Just go out and have fun..see where it leads you. Love you.