Yes, the whole sitch is messed up and will never make any sense. Trusting, loving opening your heart again, all things I am questioning right now. Told my girlfriend the other day that I must have bad taste in men. Can I even trust my own judgement anymore? Lots of questions rolling around inside my head this morning.
I can only share with you what I have come to believe about myself in this regard. I had a serious long term relationship with two men. One I met at age 20, the other at age 24. The woman I am today wouldn't give the guy I met at 20 a second glance. I mean, he wouldn't get to share a cup of coffee with me. Seriously. The woman I am today would probably agree to a coffee date with the guy I met at 24 (my exh) and maybe, maybe, one dinner date. I'm pretty certain that he'd not get a second date.
My point is, I'm not the person I was at 20, or 24. I'm the sum total of all my experiences, and my observations of those close to me as well. I know so much more about the world, people, and most importantly, I've taken the time since BD to sit alone and really dig deep to understand who I am, what my values are, what my core self believes, respects, how I want to live the rest of my life. My discernment is keener now than it was last time I was single.
I'm sure the same will be true of you on the other side of this. YOu're already asking the right questions for that to be the case.
Don't discount the fact that you were a whole lot younger and more inexperienced when you picked your mate than you are now.
Also, one final thought: because one person is untrustworthy doesn't mean ALL people are untrustworthy.
Ok maybe it was two final thoughts, because there's also this: You don't need to trust anyone else. You need to learn to re-trust yourself. You've been given the gift of time. How will you use it?
Does this make sense?
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
