7 1/2 years later...I'm trying

[mvg]

@traveler. I've been trying to have a good relationship with her for 20 years . I've invited her and OM (now husband) to my house, to the summer pool where our boys swim, to scout camping trips, etc. They've never come, not once, in 7 years. I bend over backwards to be friends with them...doesn't work, at at some point, pride kicks in. I'm not going to beg someone to be friendly.

@KML I keep the PT jobs bc I've had them both for 11 years, and in the turmoil of FT jobs, they've always been there when I needed them. It's one of those things where if I leave it, (adjunct professor & freelance production) they will find someone else to fill it and then if I ever need it, well, out of luck. My mom is close by but is busy taking care of my step dad (had a stroke) and with covid, neither of them were anywhere near us for almost 2 years. SD's dad died recently so they are both really busy.
I've thought about hiring someone from 3-5ish during the week, I haven't pulled the trigger on it yet bc most days, they'd probably be sitting around doing nothing. It's the random, unexpected stuff that pops up almost every week that I wish I had someone for.
My situation hasn't worked for women without kids (totally understandable and frankly, I'm usually not interested in women without kids) and for women with kids, it's been great on paper until they realize what it is in reality. Current GF is a bit different. I never really saw a long term future with anyone I've dated, always just chalked it up to my lifestyle, being the type of dad I am, etc etc. Turns out, I was wrong, it was just the wrong person. The issue though, as I said, is she is very much still in a family while I am not.