Yeah, I’m not saying blame him for everything - I don’t blame my ex for everything. I saw the red flags and blew past them, I didn’t demand he do the work when he cheated early in our relationship. You may have helped sweep his alcoholism under the rug (not that you are responsible in any way for his problem).
But it helps to see that that “perfect marriage” wasn’t so perfect for you. I know I put a lot of work into making my marriage work and trying to keep my ex happy. I still contend my ex probably couldn’t have stayed married to anyone else that long (24 years). Men I’ve dated since my divorce have shown me how my ex fell short of the ways a man should treat a woman he cares for.
