Stella - sounds like your rose colored glasses are slipping!
4 DUIs??? You were married to an immature alcoholic. And possibly a narcissist.
My ex wasn’t a drinker, but he was a narcissist. It took months after we split for me to see it. My BFF, who had known us both for over twenty years, is the one who pointed it out to me. Everything slid into place once I realized it.
I hear some similarities in your story with mine. I’m a bit of an introvert who enjoys relaxing with a good book. Ex was a ball of extroverted energy, the social director, I used to joke he was incapable of just relaxing and reading the Sunday paper. We balanced each other - I thought. I was the responsible one. Since he was a narcissist, so long as I made him look good, things seemed great. But once I developed a medical issue that caused fatigue and a little weight gain (Graves disease) - not so much. A narcissist wants to do what HE wants to do, and as long as you go along with it, that’s fine. Your miscarriage and my illness were inconveniences to our spouses because they interfered with them doing what they wanted to do.
