Also - re: your daughter - sometimes kids aren't asking what we THINK they're asking. It might be as simple as she wants everyone to live together because she likes the sheets on her bed at your house better, or some such. We do have to be careful not to over-read into what they say. Sounds like she loves everybody and would just like to have everybody together and it's good that she has those positive feelings.
Let go of OM stuff. I know it's infuriating and I'm sorry you have to deal with him but it's your WIFE who cheated on you, not him. It's in your best interest to have a cordial relationship with him and at least not betray any negative emotions about him to your kids. They don't need to be put in between. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer they say.
