I get it Stella. After living pay cheque to pay cheque for years, XH and I were debt free and had been for about ten months when I found out about his double life. We finally had the money to travel and were looking at an early retirement. Not anymore. He now has a large mortgage and I will have a mortgage (not quite as large) once my house gets built. Early retirement is pretty much out for both of us. His wife recently had a liver transplant and has not been able to work since he and I separated. He and I make about the same amount of money so he was definitely better off before. We also could have paid for our kids’ post secondary education (assuming they go) but that won’t be possible anymore either. We’ll be able to pay for some but definitely not as much as we would have been able to before the divorce. His decision affected a lot of lives.
I know it is really difficult at this stage Stella but try not to dwell on this stuff too much. Leave it to your lawyer to figure out the financial stuff. You just focus on finding your footing again and moving forward…one painful step at a time. I promise…if you do the work and keep facing forward, you will get past this and begin to reimagine your life. (((HUGS)))
