I am so sick of all of this, so sick of hurting, being angry, crying, raging....thinking. I want my easy laid back self back , my life. I did not break my vows, my promises, I did nothing wrong. Adultery should be punishable by law, there should be jail time, and large fines. How anyone can think this is acceptable is beyond me. How anyone can look in the mirror everyday and not see the ugliness in there immoral unethical choices is beyond me. Every state should be a fault state. He should have to pay for the rest of his life for what he has done to our M
I hear ya Stella!! I had those exact thoughts. Maybe if there was a bit more of a consequence for cheating and lying, people might work a bit harder at repairing their marriage instead of abandoning it. There are a lot of factors at play...society's acceptance of this behaviour being a major one. My kids have more friends with divorced parents than friends with parents who are still together. When I was a kid, it was the exact opposite. The vast majority of my friends lived with both of their parents.
Mind you, I do not think that all marriages should remain intact...abuse is a deal breaker for me. But most marriages fail because of complacency, neglect and poor communication. All of these things can be improved upon if both parties recognize it and agree to work on it. The problem is that when these things become a factor, many people become resentful and rather than trying to fix things, start making choices that actively destroy whatever is left of the relationship...often without their spouse's knowledge. In my sitch, I would have had a lot more respect for my H if he had moved out and spent some time standing on his own two feet before taking up with someone else. But he chose the easy way out and created another life with someone else whilst he was still pretending to be in our marriage. That kind of conscious destruction is pretty difficult to reconcile.
I know how much this hurts. It is the WORST pain I have ever, ever felt in my entire life. But believe me, you won't always feel this way Stella. That is not to say you will ever get to a place where you look back and say that it was okay how he treated you or that you are glad that it happened BUT you will get to a place where you are okay on your own (or with someone else) and you can see a positive future ahead of you. It will not be the future you thought you were going to have but it WILL be a good one nonetheless...if you make it that way. Just keep posting and venting and putting one foot in front of the other my friend. You will get there eventually...in spite of yourself. (((HUGS)))
(((HUGS)))
