Sorry you're here. There are lots of good people willing to lend support and advice.
Originally Posted by Bema
Spouse has filed for divorce, and I want to stayed married. I am highly confident we can have a great marriage given the right set of tools/guidance. I am pretty sure we do not have that set of tools.
You may be highly confident - I was as well - but it's important to keep in mind it's completely out of your control and solely dependent on your W. It's unlikely she filed for D unless she is serious about that as an outcome, so her mindset might be 180 degrees different than yours. You are not going to be able to "fix it" yourself. Having a great marriage going forward is only possible if BOTH of you are interested in that possible outcome and it sounds like at least right now she is not.
Originally Posted by Bema
Married almost 2 decades. No kids.
We are living in the same house and getting along well. Other than the big D part.
You don't give any back story on issues in the marriage. It sounds like an amicable living situation. Was your W filing for a divorce a surprise, or a long time in the making? Do you suspect an affair?
Originally Posted by Bema
Have you gone through Michele's 2 day intensive? Can you tell me about that? What happened?Breakthrough moments? What were the results for you. Are you still married?
I don't have any experience with a MWD 2-day intensive or Retrouvaille.
Originally Posted by Bema
We tried counseling that actually made things worse, so wanted to get a clear sense we are going in the right direction.
That was my experience as well. Actually, not sure it made things worse but counseling definitely didn't help in my case; the decision/result was pre-determined.
