She's OUT! #7

[Mumin]

As always, Thank you S-XX, LH, BL, OB, CW, Neff for taking the time to reply!
I find that a little perspective and feedback is very encouraging!

You do not miss her; you miss who she used to be. That version of her is gone, maybe forever.

Thanks for this reminder Steve, always important to make that distinction. My subconscious self isn’t really there yet.

It goes in spurts. After awhile you get burnt out and need to take a break and then you start up again.
You are doing great! Chin up and tits out!

LH, thanks for this!

How do you fit in workouts during kid weeks? I'm struggling staying consistent there.

Killing it! Keep it up, you must be looking good.

Certainly looking better than pre-BD. Sort of a halt in progression though.
BL, last year I tried to workout 7 days a week during the weeks without kids. When the kids are with me I try to involve them or give them some sort of activity. The gym I go to actually has "babysitting" for 60 minutes for ages up to 12. I use that 1-4 times per month.

I believe she isn’t feeling great and perhaps the grass wasn’t perfectly green on the other side.

Why do you believe that? Any evidence to support it, or just a gut feel?

I am +99% certain I saw XW on tinder, though (to my knowledge) OM is still very much in the picture.

Unexpectedly seeing seeing XW's profile pop up as you're swiping has got to be an bizarre feeling LOL Maybe a bit validating as well once the initial shock subsides?

She used the word “slut” to describe herself…

Yikes! Would she really write that about herself?

Regarding green grass, I have over the past year heard some stuff from mutual friends about her mental well being.
Though to be honest, while she may not be doing great mentally she might still be satisfied with her decision to leave me. Though again, Im not sure shes "there" mentally to even realize she actually did make that decision.

Regarding XW on tinder again, I am not 100% sure it was her. But I didn't really feel much about her being there. It was the description slut (and other things she wrote) that hit me.

Regarding that description I have done a lot of thinking about our sex life, what her needs are and what were the dynamics in our relationship around that. (Below is a short notation of my thoughts around it.)

IF she is very experimental sexually and has a very strong sexual desire, then why couldn't she be honest about it with me?
The part about desire (though very complex in itself) I have sort of deciphered (read Intimacy & Desire). It was mainly about communication and expectations.
Regarding sexual experimentation my current belief is that she had a mental picture/model of herself that she just couldn't match with those desires. She was "the good girl" but her mind said otherwise. My belief is that this was a major (if not the most important) contributor to the D itself. T


Neffer, great to see you posting and alive!