Hi DnJ, Yes, I see that I need to do this for me. I have to stop contact with him and hanging on his ever text or call. It just makes me feel worse. I need to leave H alone so I can get controll of my emotions, I was doing good for a bit, and have completly backslided lately...I have to keep reminding myself that I can not force anything with H, he has to do what he is gonna do,. Right now I am letting him drag me.
There is a temp order that my ATTY put together, that pissed of H, so he has now got his own ATTY. So waiting to see what the ATTYs come up with. My ATTY asked for 50% of H's income going back to December and that he pay all the bills for the house, and keep my insurace coverage till D is final. Also for a appraisal of the house and H's extensive sports memorabilia collection. H is trying to tell me that everything in the house is worth more than his collection. (not true) I do not think he understands what assets means. My kitchen table, towels, housewares, are not assets, his collection is a asset as it will increase in value as time goes by. I did not try to explain this to him and will let the ATTYs do that.
The house is paid in full, for now I would like to stay, but not sure how that will be worked out. I am not sure in the long run, with the house. Lots of memories here, we planted every tree, every flower, ever bush in the yard. We created our back yard oasis together. Did all the upgrades in the house to make it into our style, beachy. We loved our beach vacations and it shows in the home. I don't know, will have to wait and see. I just don't know yet. The housing market is crazy right now.
I was permanently laid off on Oct. 2nd, I had a long good paying career, but it was not one I enjoyed. ATTY wants me to hold off on going back to work at this point in time. Being 52, I am finding it hard to find employement anyway. I will have to dumb down my resume somehow, as I want to find a easy job where I am not in charge of anyone but myself. The plan was for me to not work anymore of work part time, so we could start enjoying more time together. We had set everthing up to work so H could retire within the next 5 to 8 years. But now, thats all gone.
I do enjoy reading, but have not been reading for pleasure, my books are all love stories, not really in the mood for those. I want to join the local gym, should be ready to start working out again in another week. I also love to work outside in the yard, but that is covered with snow right now..I will have alot of work to do once the snow melts, so that should keep me busy. H& I always loved putzing around outside together... ugh... I used to enjoy golfing before the pool went in, but I had a herniated disk a few years ago that stopped me from golfing and bowling. But I want to go to a driving range in spring to see if how my back responds.
My brother is a avid camper and has asked me to go this summer. To be honest I am more of Spa resort kinda girl, but I did grow up in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin so being a outdoor nature girl is still in my blood. Anything to get out and do something different.
Spring and summer will bring some much need distractions from all of this. I really really really do not want the D to go through. I know its just a piece of paper, but to me its means more than that. I know that I can not back off on it and I have to let it move forward. But I hope H stops it, or postpones it before the final court date on June 6th. But one day at a time, right.
