Husband MLC? need help#2

[AndrewP]

The more I get into this, the more I see there is no hope, and I struggle with that.

No no no. That isn't what I wanted to convey. I'm sorry if what I wrote came out that way.

There is always hope. Although it does get lost once and a while. Probability is a different matter.

What I had hoped to convey was that the odds are long but not zero.

One person from here who is sadly no longer with us once told me that it doesn't matter what the odds are because even a 1 in a thousand chance has a 1 in it.

DnJ is saying more or less what I'm trying to say, but saying it far better.

You can have compassion and yes, even hope. But you also need to live your life one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

The stories here about reconciliation are indeed few but they are out there. You may want to look for an old friend called Westo. She never gave up hope, worked in being complete in herself and became a stronger person than she was before. Oh and her husband came back I think about 2 years ago and as far as I know they are doing fine although the reconnection was "very" difficult on her.

But as I think you are realizing, you didn't break him and you can't fix him. The only person you can control is yourself. Frustrating isn't it

There's a lot of short phrases that make the rounds here that some find helpful. Another one to keep in mind is "let go or be dragged". DnJ who is probably one of the most compassionate people it's ever been my privilege to know did that himself. He still cares but he's not allowing his xWife's very real struggles to affect how he lives his life. He knows that the path she is on is one set out before her and is not the path that he is on. Paths meander a lot - we never know where they end up. We do though have agency in the choices we make as do our former partners and have the power to determine how we walk those paths but not how others walk their's.

Hope that helps ((Stella))