So what made you think it was the end of the crisis? What progress has he made? When and of the crisis ends what do you think will happen?
LH, I'm 3 years in now with an MLC'er who has been living @ home for about 2 years in total. Believe me, there are huge differences, but at the end, it doesn't matter anymore now.
What will happen when he is out, I would hope he could be a good F again for his children, and to be able to act in a normal way towards me, don't we all want that at the end?
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
I do think MLC is real and that people can and sometimes do come out the other side of it. However, I do not think that coming out of it necessarily means they will want their former spouse and their “old life” back. In fact, I would venture a guess that most probably do not. I think this is one of the reasons we suggest to people that they move forward with making a new life for themselves regardless of what their WAS decides to do.
You’ve done all you can do for him Eagle. Now it IS your time to move forward. Sky’s the limit!! (((HUGS)))
Deja, Thanks! I know that most spouses don't necessarily want their old life back and TBH, if he even wanted it back, I'm doubting now if I would still want a second life with him.
As said above, my biggest concern are the children and for them I would wish a normal F, that's all.
Yes, I have done all I could. Most important now is getting my ducks in a row, we'll see it from there.
Originally Posted by LH19
Maybe start to think if you want to stand or move forward. DNJ is a great example of a stander who leads a fulfilling life. If you want to move forward heal and then start dating again Dejavu is a great example to follow. There are lots of different ways to go about your life but right now IMO you need strong boundaries with your exh. Remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again expecting a different result.
Just remember that no matter what you are going to be fine.
Definitely true. I know I will be OK. Thanks.
I believe I have made clear boundaries now, as per my feedback above, wouldn't you think? I off course need to stick to them now...
In the end the biggest difference between DnJ and DejaVu is the fact that DeJaVu would not want her ExH back and is dating, DnJ is not.
The answer in regards to my future will reveal itself in the months/years to come. I honestly wouldn't know, time will tell. My work now is making sure I follow the advice and simply move forward making a new life for myself.
