I don't ever believe in kicking a person when they are down.
Steve it seems to me that you are remorseful in what has been seen as personal attacks.
I don't feel that you are all that bad, however I was feeling particularly bullied at the time I left this group.
The main reason was how much it was harped on why an LBS would take back a spouse after a PA.
Well, frankly none of us are perfect. And, in our lord Jesus Christ (as you like to point out you're a believer) we should be more forgiving of others. Again... giving out this mixed bag of your belief seems like your cotton picking on what suits you at the moment.
The bottom line is the OW was NEVER my competition. My only competition was myself. The affair was a symptom that something was wrong in my marriage that desperately needed addressed. I certainly did my part in cleaning up my side of the street... all I could do was wait to see if that would be enough for my partner to make the choice in working on our M.
Many who come here are suffering the betrayal of marriage with an EA or a PA. Looking for help and support and understanding. I would most definitely be amiss if I did not say that Steve you do give a lot of good advice and support and over time you have developed more of an understanding but unless a poster has specifically asked what you would if you were in there shoes... this whole statement of it being crazy nonsense for a LBS to take back a cheater should never ever be posted on anyone's thread but your own.
And, truth be told you don't ever know what you would truly do until your in that situation. So it again it comes across as you standing on a pulpit preaching Jesus... But, others have posted such scenarios to you and you have admitted you don't know what you would do.
I married my H (knowing his history in his first M) that I would work anything out but if he ever cheated he would gone. He knew that and believed that and even said at DDAY... he was just going to go sleep with someone so I would never want him back because it was my only deal breaker.
I had a lot of stuff to work through... even though it was my boundary before our M for me when I actually got there I could see how I had cluttered my side of the street and contributed to our issues. I had a lot of work to do but I could see forgiveness, understanding and love.
As for the beef with LH... he's just the opposite side of your pickle. You both have honest supportive intent he just comes from the opposite spectrum as you. You are like Yin and Yang with each other... LOL!!!
As for myself and everyone else on this board. Written/spoken words are only 7% of communicative language, 38% is tone of voice and 55% is body language. GUESS WHAT???? On an anonymous internet board we are only giving and getting that 7%. Black and white type on a page is lacking tone and body language and often times can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Its Valentines Day Weekend... let's all show one another love.
