Also I have been talking to the OW"s hubby since this happened in December. OW is not happy with her H that he is talking to me, my H has never mentioned it to me. But I think that OW was under the impression that her H and I were becoming close, too close for her comfort. She actually yelled at him for it. LOL.. Insert evil laugh, let her think what she wants.
There is nothing you can do right now to end the affair or get your H back.
How does that feel? Crappy right? Used to fixing things? Used to finding a way? Familiar with the feeling that if you work hard enough, anything is possible? None of that applies now, there is nothing you can do. You need to surrender to that, grieve it and find peace with it. Fighting against it sets you up as their adversary, pushes them together and you away. If you continue to actively try to disrupt the affair and get your H back, you will only dig your hole deeper and deeper, and that will be a debt that will take you a long time to recover from.
I am also with DNJ regarding getting your H back using manipulation. If it did work which it usually doesn't, it would only be temporary. He has to want to come back for all the right reasons and be willing to do the necessary work. This will take time and space and you letting go.
