May, honestly I don't know if I could get past it. Maybe you're right. But it would mean the last 4 years were a lie.
I do disagree with you vehemently about not thinking about the human-being though. Sorry that it doesn't always come across that way, but if a LBS ever told me flat out that a PA wasn't a deal breaker for them I would respect that straight away. Just like the one guy the told me my advice wasn't helpful to him. I respected his wishes and stopped giving him advice.
I sincerely am not here to try to push MY values on anyone. That they sometimes come across, out, or I flat out say them doesn't mean that anyone has to follow them or employ/adopt them themselves. I get it. Some posters don't like when I say a deal breaker for me is a PA. Duly noted. But I can't promise that I'll never say it again either.
But that doesn't mean in any way I think myself better than anyone else for it. I have friends and family members that have forgiven their spouse for cheating years ago and are still together today. And its actually improved their marriages. Good on them. I've also known people that divorced their spouses because the their spouse cheated. I complete support their decision as well. Neither is better than the other for it. I don't think the latter are better, or stronger, or more worthy of praise for their choice. That seems to be the implication by many here. Its not true, I respect another's right to decide for themselves.
I do apologize for being harsh in your thread. I'm sincerely sorry. I will strive to do better in that regard for the go forward.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
