Kml, I love the way you think...My H always knew what I was doing, where I was. I have become very predictable over the years. Time for him to wonder...and for me to be mysterious. Love the lingerie idea, gave me a evil little chuckle..H has already asked me about a few phone numbers on our bill that he doesn't recognize..... oh thats my new friends number...
I don't know how my XSIL moved on so fast. That is not even on my radar right now, but H dosen't need to know that.
I will not be plan B!!!! That I am 100% sure of that. I am not a back up plan, I am a wonderful, caring, loving, honest, respectable person, what I gave H was true love, and a beatiful, honest life. I know my worth, I know what I bring to the table. Reality, not fantasy land, love not lust, logic not insanity, honesty and healthy emoitions, not lies ,broken promises and immature emotions. If H ever wants us back, he has a long road to travel. I will not beg (anymore), I will not talk about us to him (anymore). It has to all come from him. I did not break us, he did. I spent 8 months trying to fix us. I know I have to back away now and leave the rest to him.. I know what I want the outcome to be, at least thats what I think I want right now, but I can not force what I want on him. H needs to figure himself out, right now he thinks he is fine, he is himself.
I am trying to just let him go, give him space. I am doing good(not great) at not reaching out to him. He hasn't reached out to me since Monday, to see how surgery went. It was 2 hours past when I surgery was to be done and he text me "Are you alive? How did it go" Took me a while to get back to him. He told me to not over do it and get some rest. He knows how I have no patience and don't like being down. I always try to over do things when I need to rest. So a bit of concern, but nothing else this week. I did reach out to H on Tuesday afternoon, our church had dropped off a wooden carved cross with a picture of his Grandma on it. It had been hanging in the sancturay over the last year and the pastor dropped it off. So I sent him and his mother a picture of it, he responded with thats awesome, thanks.
