MrB, certainly a valid view. As someone that has been through two EAs by my W I can completely understand. However, I, too, have been guilty as previously admitted. And I take a lot of responsibility, definitely more than 50% blame, for her EAs. I was a terrible husband, and due to that she was susceptible to the attention of someone that showed concern for her.

For me, I was a guy with a certain level of NGS that felt entitled to love and affection from a member of the opposite sex.

This is where IC and MC worked wonders for me/us. Helping us see the causes and effects. I used to have more of a once a cheater always a cheater viewpoint. And for some I think that is true. But I do think As of all flavors are sometimes the result of other problems in the relationship, and that those involved in those can change.

FTR, I truly believe we all get to decide what are deal breakers for us as individuals. You draw yours even further than I do, but it is also valid for others to be less strigent. I've never intended to tell a LBS that's been physically cheated on they shouldn't want to try to save their marriage. That's up to them. I have taken that stance when a WAS was a serial cheater. But certainly V19 and Ginger opened my eyes and I'll be much more judicious about keeping my own belief related to PAs from biasing my advice to LBSs.

Last edited by SteveLW; 02/10/22 05:05 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018