That mine ended without being interrupted is the big differentiator, and why I still sometimes struggle with the "what if" if I hadn't caught her in the EA stage.
"What evil lurks in the hearts of men?!" You know yours, but can never fully know hers. She didn't PA--she was interrupted. You didn't PA--you weren't interrupted. Makes sense you wonder what could've been. I've never EA'd nor PA'd, nor knowing been EA'd or PA'd. 80% that's my moral code and those I pick. 20% that's circumstances. I can't answer if under the right circumstances she would have PA'd or whether you would have PA'd. The key thing is you found out, you reacted decisively, and she was receptive. Quite the gift horse! Maybe something was watching out for you.
Oh I am thankful that it never got that far. For her and for me. Me probably more so. Yes, EAs and PAs are against my moral code too. I know that sounds contradictory, but sometimes I do not live up to my moral code. I fail. I did in having the EAs. One of the EAPs has contacted me multiple times over the years wanting to reconnect, and I have made it clear to her every time that is no longer an option for me. So I have improved in that area and refuse to ever let something like that happen again. My W has said the same thing, that she purposely avoids that. So I think we have both grown in that area.
As I said, there were moments during both EAs that it could have easily gone PA for me, but didn't for one reason or another. More than once it was me pulling back due that moral code. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I was getting that thrill, that ego boost from it and couldn't quite end it completely. In the first one, I ended it. In the second, the EAP ended it.
Traveler, I agree that it was gift horse, and retrospect how it ended prior to PA is less important than the fact that it ended before PA. I think that is your overall point. But I truly believe that it was someONE watching out for US!
Sorry for the stream of consciousness type response! It helped me work through what I said earlier to just think and type.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
It helped me work through what I said earlier to just think and type.
