Thank you all so much for your input. This had been very valuable to me.
However, I know my MLCH very well.
If you don't say it clearly, he won't understand at all why I want to stop playing happy family. I'll have to clarify. He will be home at various times in the coming weeks and I will have to be able to deal with that. I've been thinking a lot last night and would like to say the following to him during our walk today: We're both naive like you said. (He said himself last week when he said I tricked him into making him come back and have different expectations than him) We tell ourselves something, both being with different meanings. And we have to stop that. We live too much in the past, while we are both already preoccupied with our future. That's not compatible. Doing all those activities together, that is not possible today. We both need to process and heal, each of us in our own way. Our first priority together is the well-being of the children. That is the only thing that we should focus, the rest we have to do ourselves separately.
