She's OUT! #7

[BL42]

Mumin,

Great to hear an update, and glad you're doing well. Seems like significant progress overall.

Laughed hard when re-reading this from unchien:

“I agree with the others that your boundaries will be tested. If you've ever seen "Jurassic Park", I like to think of my X as one of those velociraptors constantly throwing themselves into the electrified fence, just to test that it is still juiced. Boundaries require consistency over time. Kids do the same thing.”

Hilarious. Love that analogy.

In short I have been living a really good life, sure covid [censored] but I have managed real well in 2021. Excelling at work, excelling in the gym (235 workouts last year), dated/talked to a few women (one exclusive for a few months), building some stuff at home and really spending quality time with the kids every other week.

That's awesome. How do you fit in workouts during kid weeks? I'm struggling staying consistent there.

So yeah, I dated a girl and it was actually great. Though I ended it because I didn’t really feel that strong of a connection and she was sort of in a hurry. Hurry to define our R, hurry to talk about kids etc Which I am definitely not. She was also recently divorced but had no kids so the compatibility wasn’t great I guess. She did say I was the best she ever had and wished me well, so we ended on good terms.

I wonder if you may not have heard the last from her...

I feel I still have a lot to consider for myself and think about. Do I ever actually want more kids? Do I even want to get married again? Where do I want to be in 10 years?
Not that I need to completely decide and be final about it, but I need to have my priorities set and a "game plan". I realized this during dating.

Good to ponder those questions but your answers also may change over time and with the right person.

I believe she isn’t feeling great and perhaps the grass wasn’t perfectly green on the other side.

Why do you believe that? Any evidence to support it, or just a gut feel?

I am +99% certain I saw XW on tinder, though (to my knowledge) OM is still very much in the picture.

Unexpectedly seeing seeing XW's profile pop up as you're swiping has got to be an bizarre feeling LOL Maybe a bit validating as well once the initial shock subsides?

She used the word “slut” to describe herself…

Yikes! Would she really write that about herself?

She has however come around more and more to caring for the kids and doing her “duty” as a parent which is great. Initially my mental reflex was “OH, so now you care??!!!” but today it just makes me happy to see she cares. XW’s parents couldn’t even look at each other after their divorce, and still can’t. Initially I wasn’t sure if we might end up like that but now I am glad we are heading in a much better direction.

That's good. My ExW seems to be is trending that way as well.

The most notable situation for me was when I picked up the kids to celebrate Christmas with my family and they started telling me about how they celebrated Christmas day with OM and his family. I wasn’t aware they were going to do that and that really hit me hard. Not a great way to start a 5 hour drive.

I absolutely empathize. That feeling is completely reasonable. My guess is it gets better over time but may always be a twinge of pain associated.

Sort of babbling on here, but yeah you wanted an update.

Hope veryone that supported me are doing great and again, THANK YOU!

Appreciate the update! Things sound good...keep it up!