Next step in the process. the sale of our recently built dream home. (3 years in)

MLC H was on holiday with his friend last week. (didn't always go well according to what I've heard, but of course this is due to the fact that he can't hide his MLC anymore)

When he came back home he was, and still is, very calm. Not G, but MLC H with a lot of guilt. For that reason only I could conclude that he was making plans to leave again.

Last week I was able to think a lot. I realize more and more that I have to move on and effectively let go of him even more. Mentally I have come a long way, but when he is with me, it is not always easy to let go emotionally. The biggest reason for this is because we have had a lot of beautiful moments together in the last 10 weeks. But I'm not sorry about this. I'm glad we still had these moments together.

Last week I re-entered negotiations with an agency for the sale of our home as agreed with MLC H before his holiday. Last night we were playing cards (a favorite activity of MLC H and which we've been doing a lot the last few weeks) and in between he asked if I had already looked for the sale. I told him that the contract was ready for him to sign and that he should go over it the next day.
He then went on to say that he has planned a retreat in the coming weeks but doesn't know the specific date yet (in a country right next to the country where OW2 lives).
I deliberately didn't ask if he went to her in the meantime, I really don't want to know anymore.
His decision, his choice.

This retreat lasts 1 week, costs a lot of money and is mainly based on yoga, mindfulness and meditation. He sincerely believes that 1 week will help him to find what he is looking for.
I let him tell and just listen, don't comment.
He is also planning to rent something nearby in the coming weeks and leave the house.
He even asked to send the planning of the kids which I made a couple of months ago in regards to the custody arrangements. (when the children will be with him in the coming months)

It looks like he is once again determined to move on with his life without me.

Last night in my bed I couldn't sleep, I was really grieving the loss of the house, the stress of the imminent move, the changes which are coming again for the children, and last but not least living again without him around me. I know that those periods of mourning are now much shorter then they used to be, usually this only lasts a day or 2 and I move forward again.

I actually felt the way Cardinal felt. This will of course be a normal reaction I assume.

One question for which I don't seem to find an answer.
You should know that I'm actually not mad or bitter at him at all anymore. I am fully understanding his "Illness" and can be his friend today. And so I do. We did laugh, talk and had fun in many ways the past weeks with some exceptions.
(I won't tolerate bad behavior of course like what happened two weeks ago. That is why we are moving forward again, to not have these situations anymore.)

But I assume this is contradictory to letting go?

F.e. What if he goes back to OW2? Do I have to warn him again beforehand that if he goes back to her I won't be there for him? And then again provoke a reaction that I really don't need anymore. Do I want to know he is going back to OW2? Is it important for me to know?

I'm divorced, the house will be sold, the only connection we will still have are the children.
And at the end, now he is finally allowed to do whatever he wants, I don't have to agree with that but I can't say anymore that he is having an affair.

These things have been keeping me busy lately. I don't know if I worded it right, as it's hard to explain. If not clear...sorry...