Where am I with XW and the divorce? I set a few goals for the year and one is to COMPLETLEY let her go. I mostly have but as with any long-term love I can’t just forget about her. It's always been that way for me with GFs. I know, most of you might say “STILL??!”. But yeah, some unconscious part of me misses her and what we had from time to time.
Mumin, one correction. You do not miss her; you miss who she used to be. That version of her is gone, maybe forever. You need to switch your thinking here from "I miss her and want her to come back" to thinking about her more as if she had passed on. "I can't be with her ever again, but I still miss the good times that we had in the past."
Subtle but important difference. LBSs that proceed as if there is still a chance (insert the 1 in a million scene here from Dumb and Dumber!), have a tough time letting go. LBSs that move forward mourning what they have lost in terms that it is never coming back get over the "letting go completely" issue much quicker.
But we get it! It was a long relationship; it isn't like a switch you can turn on and off. But maybe looking at it as more mourning a loss, as opposed to hoping to get something back, will help you a bit.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
