Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Yes, surgery stirs emotions. It’s ok to be scared. (((Hugs)))
Something for post surgery:
Originally Posted by Stella20
I don't want to live my life with out him, but I have to change that thought as it is not realistic. I feel like there is a giant battle going on inside of me. A fight with myself to hold on and let go and it is a constant battle. Like I think I can fix him, when I know logically that I can not fix him or control his actions.
You are correct. There is a battle waging inside you. And you are not defenceless in this battle.
You greatest weapon is logic and reason. Your controlled thoughts. Mental assertiveness.
Your strong mind is both sword and shield. A sharp sword to cleave the entangling tentacles of H that ensnare you. A brightly polished shield to protect from attacks, projections, incorrect justifications, and such.
You control your thoughts, actions, and reactions. They are the only things a person has direct control of. With that, you influence your emotions and beliefs.
Sword and shield, keep them sharp and bright. You know what to do. Detachment is coming.
Originally Posted by Stella20
This is not a journy I want to be on, no one wants or deserves to ever be on!!!
I hear you. It’s a terrible road to be forced upon.
Be patient and gentle with yourself. This all takes time.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
