Where to start with WAS

[SteveLW]

you feel as if she drove your relationship off a cliff while you stood by helplessly and that you've been deeply betrayed.

I think thats a great description of how I feel/what happened actually. I'm actually laughing at how accurate this feels to me.

You realize this isn't true though, right? Even if your only contribution to the failure of the marriage was ignoring obvious red flags, then you still were more than just a helpless bystander.