I certainly dont want to save what obviously wasn't a very good marriage. I guess I'm still clinging to what could be/could have been.
That's usually what we cling to. My last partner and I had great sex multiple times each week and amazing adventures for years--but she had a temper. It is what it is. You can't cobble people together into the Bride of Frankenstein.
Originally Posted by Joshua
Then once we got married, almost immediately, she was completely disinterested and said a lot of emasculating things which made me feel rejected and unloved.
I see. You waited for 2.5yrs to explore sexual chemistry and found it lacking. First times, and first times with a new partner are sometimes awkward because you're still learning about each others' preferences and what works together. You describe her as stonewalling you late in the relationship. Early on it sounds like she was communicating that something was wrong. The "emasculating" comments make it sound more like incompatibility than disinterest for her. I get she didn't phrase her concerns in the most empathetic way, and you took them personally. Were you able to hear her despite that and try to meet her needs? When did she stop communication? Once the communication dies, it's hard to imagine a marriage succeeding.
