I know my expectations of his visit tomorrow are completly unrealistic... he will see me see the boys and confess his undieing love for me and our life.. Tell me how much he screwed up, how much he misses me misses us.. I know pathetic...
And lets say this acutual happens(which it won't) then what. I could not let him just come home then. He has issues, and big problems he needs to face, he needs professional help. He needs time alone in his own place, needs to get rid of OW. The road is there, but it is completly drifted over right now and white out driving conditions.
We all ask ourselves these questions. We bargain; the last ditch emotional effort to keep things like they were.
If he were to do that. Believe nothing they say, and only half of what they do.
MLCers are masters manipulators. For they are doing that upon themselves constantly.
If he were to. He lives elsewhere for a good while. You date. You see who he is. He gets help. And so on.
Originally Posted by Stella20
I always beleived that the love we had was stronger than this, that it was special, that we would never never be in this sitch. That we were different, well thats shot to He11 isn't it. Took all my believes and just blew them up.
Your beliefs and values are only blown up - if you allow it.
Part of our inner work is organizing ourself. Strengthen beliefs that serve. Craft ones you aspire to. Alter or discard values that do not serve. To become who you are meant to be. The best version of yourself.
It’s ok to love H. (And not like MLC H)
The strength of your love, how special it was, it is ok to remember that. To believe in it. To believe in yourself.
A pitfall along our path is hardening one’s heart against the pain. Heartbroken LBS’s we all started as. Keep your heart soft and squishy as it heals. Do not calcify and place impenetrable walls around your inner self.
From my experience a squishy heart is golden. It allowed me to heal, forgive, and accept. Yes, I hurt incredibly for a while. Nowadays, the pain barely registers. In truth, I can still summon it, if I choose too. After all we don’t actually banish it.
Acceptance of one’s life and choices is a wonderful thing. Choose well. Choose a loving approach. Your heart, keep it soft and beautiful. For it is truly for you.
Of all my advice over the years, I feel, and believe, that is my best. A soft squishy heart.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
