The obvious question for the WAS is "Why bother?". I have two friends who are WAS (to lousy ex's) and have no plans to finalize their divorces, because their attorneys say the temporary settlement is better than the long-term settlement. If their ex's value the closure of that piece of paper, they'll have to sweeten the long-term settlement, or wait a few more years.
WTF?
Ok, yes, technically legal. And yes some people do this. However, morally? What type of person purposefully causes more pain and anguish just because they can.
T, do you try to hit a nerve? Most folks around here are the unwilling recipient of such WAS behaviour. The walk away spouse did just that - walked away. Walked away from their marriage and from their vows. They didn’t work on the marriage, and they won’t end it amicable. And their ex is the lousy person? Pretty sure their (ex)spouse would say different, and so do the actions of these WAS’s.
Friends? No way man! They’d not be with me. Oh, if you pay more maybe I’ll sign, otherwise wait a few more years. What a messed up person. Karma will strike! One cannot go around dealing out such behaviour without comeuppance. My goodness what a world view and value system they’d create and/or have. To knowingly hold another person’s closure hostage. A person who they promised to cherish and such, you know - for better or worse. Yep, keep telling themselves who is lousy and who deserves such treatment. What a narrative they spin. Actions speak louder.
Like I said, legally acceptable. And I’m sure their lawyers are correct that this temporary situation is more lucrative. Man oh man, no way my friends would do that. Because they’d not be friends anymore. My friends reflect my values too. Respect, trust, honour, responsibility, accountability, sincerity, and such.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
