Steve, How did you handle staying in the same house and making things work? I feel like I am spinning my wheels. I cook dinner, we have dinner and superficial conversation, he retreats to the basement. He will occasionally show me a video that he thinks is funny, then retreats to the basement. I don't go down there an bother him unless I step down to the foot of the steps to let him know dinner is ready. I really feel like I am STILL just walking on eggshells because I DON'T know what to do. :-(
Why are you still cooking dinner for both of you?
You cook. You eat. If he comes up and there are leftovers then you make it known he is welcome to eat. He cleans up after himself, you clean up after yourself.
You are under the same roof, but you are not together, because he has deemed it so. So you show him what it means to be separated. What you are doing is trying to hold on, still. He is enjoying his cake,living downstairs, by himself, and still enjoying the frults that you provide, and eating it too. So you take those fruits away.
Eggshells is an apt description. As long as you continue IHS there will be a bit of a walking on eggshells feeling. It is impossible to avoid it entirely. I know you said you are still recovering from something, but the best way to get off of those eggshells is to go out and get a life. During our IHS I stayed as busy as I could. I was going out with buddies, going up the hunting property on the weekend. When I was home I was busy either reading, or doing things outside. I was not perfect at all of this, but over time I got better.
Once you start to emotionally detach, once you start to get busy with other things in your life, once you start to get really good as showing him what life without you will be like, the better you will start to feel. And sometimes....SOMETIMES it causes the WAS to wonder what the heck is going on and start sniffing around. Did you follow cadet's advice and read the distance/pursuit thread?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
