So happy for you that you have a trip to look forward to Elbereth. I always try to have something like that to look forward to. It does help get through some of the less enjoyable days.
I can totally relate to what you said about friends and family talking about OW and/or STXH. My family doesn’t say anything to me but others have. People who had knowledge of his activities when we were together feel like it is okay now to tell me what they knew or at least suspected. XMIL also likes to talk about them. Not too often but every once in awhile. Last summer when I dropped the dog off to her, she actually started telling me about his wedding. It didn’t really bother me in the way one might think but I do recall thinking, “Why are you telling me this? What makes you think I would want to hear about it?” But…I didn’t say anything because she is my kids’ grandmother and I want to maintain a good relationship with her. Still…I was pretty surprised she wouldn’t have figured that out for herself…that maybe the ex wife wouldn’t want to hear about his wedding to the person he cheated on her with. Or maybe she did but her need to tell me about it trumped my need to not hear about it.
I question my judgement sometimes as well. Given what we have been through, I think it would be unusual for us not to. At the end of the day though, I think that if someone is that good at hiding their true selves, that’s on them.
Anyway…I echo what D said. You are wiser now and you have learned from this. You’re doing really well. (((HUGS)))
