Thanks everyone. Lots to ponder. I do think it is me but I don’t think I’m scared of finding someone who is my equal. And I don’t run from people who are really into me. Both Jack and TDH were really into me and both of them I thought, at one point, could have worked so I gave it a shot. But over time, Jack’s age and lack of direction became deal breakers for me and TDH’s issues revealed themselves and proved to be deal breakers as well. I know myself fairly well and the fact that I don’t have any romantic feelings for him are, at this point, a bit of a warning sign. I do, however, want to give it a chance but I’m worried that if I am feeling the pressure to kiss him at the end of the next date and I’m not feeling it, it’s going to make it hard for me to enjoy myself and give it a chance.
Fate may have intervened somewhat. I didn’t expect him to ask me out for this weekend because I’m pretty sure he has his kids but he texted me yesterday to see if I wanted to go snowshoeing on Saturday. I told him I would take a rain cheque. My sister and I are heading out of town on Saturday so I can go test drive an ID.4 (have a deposit on one currently but am still on the top of the wait list) and do some shopping. Also, both she and I started having CV19 symptoms yesterday and I am home sick today. We are going to do a rapid test today or tomorrow to see if that’s what it is and if it is, I won’t be going anywhere this weekend at all. Anyway, I let him know and he was very nice about it…said we would find another day.
So, I do think I will go out with him again and give it a chance but I’m pretty sure if I’m still not feeling anything (don’t need fireworks…just a tiny spark), I probably won’t go on a fourth date.
KML - I have a similar story. He is someone I’ve known forever and was my best guy friend growing up. We lost touch for a lot of years but recently have reconnected. He has been in a long term relationship and just asked his gf to marry him. The last time he and I hung out together, I went to his parents’ place for dinner with him as he was visiting them (he and his gf lived in a different town). He commented at the time that it was so easy to be around me and I agreed. It is rare to have that level of comfort with someone and I know there was and always has been a bit of a spark between us. Timing is everything however and it just never was there for us. I am really happy for him though. I have met his gf and I can tell she really loves him. A part of me will always wonder “what if” but maybe if we had gone there, it would not have lasted and we would not have had the lifelong friendship that we have enjoyed for all these years. At the end of the day, not every question can or should be answered.
