Hi DnJ Thank you for responding so fast,I feel like you just threw me a life line. I am crying reading your reply. After reading what you said I remembered that over the years my H has talked to me about his birth father abandoning him at a very young age, his memory of it. His mother was a teen mom and had him at 16. He has not brought it up in many years but has talked with me about how horrible it was and he was too young to understand, on numerous occassions. When he was 19 he found the address for his birth Dad and went to his house, he did not confront him, just sat in his car on the street and decided that he did not want to meet him.
His mother married and that man adopted H, H respected him, he was a strict military man and H respected and feared him, but taught H how to be a "man" in H's words. That marriage ended in D as Dad was a "ladies man". H too young to understand, was mad at his mother and stayed with his Dad. Not sure what happened but Dad ended up moving and H was estranged from Dad and got back in contact with him for our wedding, in 2003. After that I tried to encourage H to reconnect with Dad, because I knew he wanted to show his Dad how good life had turned out for him. Dad moved back to area and they started to reconnect, but Dad died within a month of moving back. I know this was very hard on H.
I grew up in a pretty normal family 3 brothers 1 sister, parents still together going on 60 years. He loved my parents, my Dad treated him like a son, my H respected my family tremendously and would tell me all the time how much he loved being apart of it. Also H was a only child, has 2 step brothers, but fell apart through the years.
I know that he is in pain, and I have tried to talk with him about what is broken inside of him, but he just gets angry with me and says nothing is wrong with me...stop saying something is wrong with me... It just pisses me off... (I know I should not have done that now ) I just wanted him to know that I am your wife, I love you, and I will hold your hand through this and we will get through this together. Which I have actually said to him. I have also asked him to get his own place so he has room to think and be alone for some time. But he is refusing to do that.
My heart is shattered, my world has been destroyed, he is my best friend. I miss him so much, he has been in my life almost everyday for 27 years and now I haven't seen him in over 2 months. We did everything together, now I have to watch him do everything with the OW via social media. Its killing me to watch him destroy the life that he and I worked so hard to build together.
I am glad I finally posted all of this. I really need to talk it all out Thank you!!!!! so much!!
