So my date was good but I find myself in a quandary. VP is a great guy. On paper, exactly the kind of person I was hoping I would meet. And I can tell he really likes me. We played pool for a couple hours. I beat him badly and he was a good sport about it…lol. We had a nice conversation… talked about our kids, the house I’m building with my sister and BIL (plans are going to the engineer this week) and current events. Afterwards, we walked back to the parking lot and stood awkwardly by our vehicles. I know he really wanted to kiss me but, in that moment guys… I really did not want to kiss him. So I just gave him a quick hug and mumbled something about not being entirely sure I don’t have Covid and basically ran away. [Insert wailing emoji here.]
I don’t understand… he really is a super person but… oh darn…about to quote Ginger after I told her to give it a chance with her date…”something is missing”. I have been wracking my brain about what it could possibly be and two things came to mind. 1. He doesn’t make my heart skip a beat…not even a little bit; and, 2) he doesn’t make me laugh. Those two things are pretty important to me. So I was thinking about whether or not I should agree to a third date and I got a text from him about how he had enjoyed himself and didn’t mind getting beat by me, he likes my eyes, I was smart to forgo a kiss to be on the safe side and that Covid really sux. When I read that, i just had this inner “oh crap” feeling and now I don’t think I want to go out with him a third time because I know I won’t be able to avoid him wanting to kiss me and I just don’t think I’m going to change my mind on that. So now it feels like a lot of pressure to “feel” something and I am really struggling with what to do.
In other news…got to work this morning and had a phone call to let me know that a 13 year-old client from my clinic OD’d the day before and is now in a coma in the ICU. WTF?!?! 13!!!! I just don’t understand how a 13 year-old can be that addicted to drugs. He’s been to the hospital a couple times but it’s never been this bad. Apparently last night they didn’t expect him to live but today he was more stable even though he’s not conscious. My son just turned 14. Drugs are not remotely on his radar. His poor parents. We always knew this could happen. This kid is just addicted and uncooperative with any supports who have tried to work with him. He comes into our clinic and cannot even tolerate 10 minutes with our psychologist before he tells her to go fuch herself. And we can’t commit him or force him to go anywhere against his will. The best place for him would be custody but despite upwards of 100 police contacts, no judge wants to send a 13 year-old who looks like his is 10 years-old to custody…at least not in my province. It is just so frustrating.
Anyway…it’s after 11 and tomorrow is going to be another busy day. (((HUGS))) to all!!!
