Glutton for punishment

[DnJ]

Hello G

I would tell you how I feel about something outside of me, but not inside of me, if that makes any sense.

Thank you for sharing that.

When I have gotten close to being vulnerable to any romantic partner, I’ve been dismissed.

I am sorry. You must feel such a need to protect yourself after such experience.


I am interested in your meaning of outside of me feelings vs inside of me feelings. If you don’t mind exploring that with me.

I am thinking it’s like how we protect our heart, our deep self after such hurtful experiences. You share and discuss surface emotions, which are real and valid, yet hold back from the deeper belief-based part of who you are.

I find, “feelings inside of me” falls into the convictions and belief category. They are most definitely meaningful emotions; and they are serious thoughts; and something else, something more. A faith, a direction, a purpose. The very tenets that strengthen a relationship or bond. I suspect a life long friend and you understand each other pretty well. Similar values and beliefs are what make a life long friendship so lasting.

If I may - and you can probably see how vulnerable and open I am being, how easy it would be for you to dismiss what I say - If I may, do forgo the surface telling of how you feel outside of yourself, and lead with your inner convictions.

Many good things happen when one speaks of their values. Of primary importance - you are listening. You reinforce and encourage yourself and your values.

You inspire those around you.

You gain likeminded fellowship; kindred spirits of similar deeply held views.

The very act of being open, leading with yourself, produces something truly amazing. Being vulnerable not only encourages empathetic response, it provides you a strength of conviction. Believing in yourself is an incredible armour. It’s an odd and highly counterintuitive place - vulnerable and assured. I’ve found the strongest place to stand is with one foot on each side.

Vulnerable is being open to potentially hurtful dismissive words and/or behaviour. Vulnerable is also being open to the greatness and joy life has to offer. If one walls up their heart from the hurt, they unintentional walled themselves up from the goodness.

You don’t be vulnerable to get hurt. You be vulnerable to be strong and full of joy and life.

I seemed to have got rambling a bit. My apologizes. This is not my thread and I should not be lecturing. Please, let me know your view. I am most interested.

D