Glutton for punishment

[DnJ]

Good Morning Ginger

You are absolutely correct that rent is just as much, or in some cases more than a mortgage.

Yes, my financial struggles are a big part of my depression right now. I find it insane that I have a degree, a professional career, am emplyed full time plus and i barely make ends meet. That I think is the part that makes me so depressed. I would be in great shape in any other state, or with the income of a partner. But not as a single mom in my area. It saddens me.

Yes finances are a big stressor in life. As gently and encouraging as I can:

You are making ends meet. Even if it is only barely. That is something to be proud of. Good for you!

Everyday, you provide food, shelter, entertainment, life. Everyday you grow equity in your house. That is progress.

Ok, so not the great shape you’d like to have right now. That’s alright. You have constraints which you, being a responsible gal, are meeting. Three and a half years, and things can change. I think you are doing excellent, by the way.

I really don't even do anything nice for myself.

(((Hug)))

Please change that.

Do something nice for you!

Fulfilling, affirming, rejuvenating, invigorating, relaxing, soothing, uplifting, good for the soul - nice for myself doesn’t need to equate to cost.

Friends and vulnerability:
Alot of my close friends are coworkers. I confide in one a bit. We got pretty close. We share a tiny office for 8 hours a day. She is 29. I am 41. But we are actually really good supports to eachother. Other than that, I am the friend everyone else comes to with their problems, People see me as funny G. Upbeat. (shocking, right?). ANd the ironic thing is everyone will lay their feelings and problems and issues right out for me and seek me out for advice. But i can't seem to do it back.

Showing our vulnerability, that soft underbelly, is oftentimes felt as a weakness. Especially if it was to those who seek you out for their problems. That is our perceptions of what we feel would be the case. Thing is, displaying your own vulnerability makes you even more approachable and sought after.

People seek you out due to their respect of you and your life. Respect fosters trust. Just look at the trust demonstrated with folks laying it all out before you. People approach because you listen and hear them. I suspect you aren’t telling people what to do, and how to live their lives. You more encourage and help them find their answers; answers that are already within.

But i can't won’t seem to do it back.

Can’t, will ensure you don’t. Won’t, makes it your choice.

“Won’t” is the first step. Realizing that. Imagining you can. That’s half the battle. After that, you just got to walk the path. And you know how to do that, for you display it here.

I am scared to scare anyone away (friends and romantic) that i hold back.

Opening up, being vulnerable, is scary. One risks themselves. It is safer behind walls.

To me it looks like your life experiences and home life when young have crafted a very real connection between vulnerable and fear. You my dear Ginger can uncouple that. You are a smart, professional, full time working, single Mom who is raising a wonderful daughter. You have a good head on your shoulders, and a loving heart in you chest. You really should display that more often. You have a wonderful light about you. Open up, let it shine.

By the way, that is a very nice thing for yourself. Most fulfilling.

Have a great day.

D