Tim: I knew you were going to say this. I'm not quite ready for the crucible, as I'd like to enjoy my 2-week vacation with her. We only have one tent, and I really don't want to end up sleeping in the van.
We had a mixed-bag weekend. Friday night we had an argument about how "my kids" (DS15, DS12, and DD9, from my 1st marriage) are sometimes a "bad influence" on our DD3. It's a situation which has some fairly impractical solutions: 1. move away, so that the three kids rarely come into contact with DD3, 2. keep my 3 away from DD3, 3. do a make-over on my 3. I agree that DD3 has picked up some bad habits from my 3, but am thinking that it is going to be so impossible to shelter DD3 from all bad influences from all sources. Plus, it's not as if my 3 are demons. They are fairly normal. I mention this to my W and she says that she wishes they were exceptional, not normal.
A couple thoughts on this. First, I'm not averse to trying to make "my 3" into better persons. It's going to be difficult, given that I can only influence them when they are in my custody, which is about 1/2 the time. But re-making them into mini-Ws (sharing her ideas on the world) is not possible, nor even particularly advisable. I want them to be their own people, with their own world views. True, I'd like them to share Ws and my views on the environment, politics, etc., but generally, I just want them to be good people. Second, although I know this is a problem that my W has been concerned about, I wonder how much this argument we had was an argument about the kids, or just another concocted event to withhold physical affection from me. Although I was engaged in the argument, this thought kept running through my head. Is she making such a big deal about this because she's worried that DD3 is being corrupted, or is she just not wanting to be touched?
We ended up having a fine day with all the kids on Saturday. DS15 told me, however, that he and his brother heard some of the argument (which I suspected). He also proceeded to tell his mom about it, and she called on Sunday night, in her fakey-what-can-I-do-to-help voice, asking how she can help. I mentioned this to W and she started writing a list of things she wants me to tell my ex.
