Well, I don't think you're going to like my suggestion, but what finally got things moving for me and W was that I basically told her that either things would improve in the bedroom (and overall) or the M would be history. I think it's time you took the big risk... I don't think she has any incentive to change without that. You need to be brutally honest with her, and let her know that you simply cannot continue living as you are... like roommates.
Then... you need to be ready to make changes in yourself, as PM will lead you to do.
