Hi, Hairdog. I've never posted to you before, but I've seen you around. In fact, I just saw on jhawker's thread that you're a Hawk. Three of us makes us an official granfalloon and compels me to check in on you.
My H and I have sexual issues too, amd it's all part of bigger issues. One thing I noticed in reading through your thread was the "I think, she thinks that I think..." Glory be. That kind of stuff is hard to let go of, but you've got to let go of your assumptions and show her that she needs to let go of hers; otherwise it's just a test of wills without words.
Many years ago a friend of mine and her husband were going through a bad patch. He was thinking about leaving her and having an affair. She came onto him one night, but he brushed her off. She said, "Okay, then I'll take care of it myself," and started masterbating. It certainly wasn't the response he was expecting and it got his attention.
Maybe masterbating in front of your W won't do the trick, but the point I'm getting at is that there are other ways to react besides just telling her you're okay with it. You really need to make her doubt that she knows what you think and the best way to do that is to show her... somehow.
On a related note, my H is not a great talker and asking him to talk doesn't work, so I tried a more indirect approach to explaining my problem. I started teasing H the other day that I could read his mind. Of course, he said I couldn't; and I said I could, so he wanted me to show him. I looked him in the eyes intensely and asked, "What are you thinking?" It was a funny way of showing him my dilemna; and getting him to laugh at me was a good ice breaker.
Just some food for thought. Rock Chalk! Jayhawk! Go KU!--z
