Out of the bottle

[BL42]

Her response: I understand. Which email address do you wish to be contacted on? I just want us to do this in a friendly way.

I'm tempted to pour a bit of scorn regarding the "friendly way", but I'm sitting on simply sending her my email address and nothing more.

Right move?

Respond with just the email address. Her want to "do this is friendly way" is not your concern. She's the one breaking her vows. No reason for you to get set back emotionally to ease her guilt. Keep it business.

[Magnhild]

OK. Thanks for getting back to me. I sent my email address and no more.

Time to get ready for a get together with friends tonight.

Chin up, tits out.

[Traveler]

Magnhild, great response. All my ex's legal proposals go straight to my lawyer in written form where we have all the time to consider them and reply.

[Ready2Change]

I sent my email address and no more.

Perfect. When I was reading the emails/texts I learned to not respond right away and let my emotions settle... then it was easier to respond the "right way".


Good job!

[Magnhild]

So I have heard nothing yet after a week. As I have heard nothing I want to send this:

Dear STXW
I have packed up all your personal belongings (including any items you brought prior to our marriage) and will leave them outside the house on this date xxx. I will leave them outside the garage. Please collect them. Anything left after this date will be binned.

As you have no intention of paying your legal contribution towards the mortgage since you left xx July 2021, I have been paying your debts to the bank. Until your name is taken off the mortgage I am aware that this house is still in both our names, however, I have paid your part of the loan since then. Our mortgage is 50/50 and I have been paying 100% since you left our marriage. The amount you owe from abandoning our marriage (along with your other debts to me) will come out of any settlement you propose.

In terms of the furnishing of our property, please let me know what we bought together during our time together and we can work towards some agreement in splitting these, if indeed you think you are owed anything.

Too harsh? Too much?

[LH19]

Way to passive aggressive.

[Magnhild]

Ok
you get my sentiment, so please help me reword

[LH19]

[quote=Magnhild]So I have heard nothing yet after a week. As I have heard nothing I want to send this:

Dear STXW
I have packed up all your personal belongings and will leave them outside the house on this date xxx. I will leave them outside the garage.

I have continued paying the mortgage to the bank. The amount you owe (along with your other debts to me) will come out of any settlement you propose.

In terms of the furnishing of our property, please let me know what you want and see if we can come to an amicable agreement.

[LH19]

Any settlement.

[BL42]

Not sure you even need to (or should) reach out at this point. Why not let her make the overture? Just pack up her stuff without word and leave it in the garage for when she asks for it. No need to mention the mortgage or property. That will play out during the negotiations and maybe with lawyers.

Comes across a little like you want to make contact.