I'm sorry you are so down and depressed. It makes my heart hurt that you say the only place you can feel vulnerable is with IC and here. Being vulnerable is so very hard when you are a tough chick and you, my friend, are definitely a tough one. I wonder if being vulnerable with others is difficult for you, not because you don't have people you can do it with, but you don't want to do it because you somehow don't want those people to think you are less than. For me, personally, what you said about your dad really stood out. He wants you to tell him everything but then when you do, he invalidates. Is that a fear that you have in being vulnerable with others...that they will invalidate like your dad does? Might be something worth looking into.
You are a great mom and it [censored] that you have to do all the heavy lifting concerning little G, but as kml said, are we shocked that your XH leaves it all to you? Not particularly. You are raising one h3ll of a young lady and she's going to learn the value of hard work from you and what a great gift you are giving her to set her off on the right foot as she careens toward adulthood at break-neck speed.
I know you are broke. It [censored]! Sister, I'm so right there with you it isn't even funny. My birthday is this weekend and we don't even have the money to go out and do anything fun because we just spent $600 getting our propane tank refilled a few weeks ago. Heat or birthday celebration...hmmmmm....that's a no brainer!
Girl, I hear your struggle and I'm just so sorry that I can't do anything to help you. I wish I could. I'm here to listen if you need to talk.
Take care of yourself. Whoever it was who said you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first hit the nail right on the head. Take care of you and let some other stuff go. If little G is having friends over, why are YOU the one up at 5:30 cleaning the house? She isn't 7, she's a teenager. She lives there too and is likely just as responsible, if not more so, for the mess that is there than you are. Stop trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and cut yourself some slack. You deserve it!!!!!!!!!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
