MLC H is full time back now. Not a lot of G noticeable anymore.
Well, I always knew this could happen although I do look differently at it now. (much less pain and much more rational thinking) He has made a lot of progress but I know he is preparing himself to leave again. Leaving again for OW2 almost for sure. He is still not strong enough, so it will be better for everybody that he leaves to whatever his destination might be.
Will he actually go through with it, I'll never know for sure but will be clear in the coming weeks I suspect.
It is actually strange.
I came to realize that MLC H doesn't want me but can't let me go. I on the other hand can let go of him, I do not need him anymore but I still want him. So we have kind of different expectations. LOL
He is leaving for his week skiing this evening, and came in my room last night to cuddle, to sleep by my side, to tell me he will leave again afterwards to be with OW2 but he is not sure she still wants him. A bit later that he will leave because he will travel around the world to work on himself etc. Mixed emotions like crazy. But one thing is clear, he wants a way out again. I told him that I will not be there for him when he is going back to OW2. That much is clear.
Yet again he can't understand why I still want him, he said I have not been honest with him, that he sees I still have expectations, and that we had an agreement when he returned home about the fact that he would never choose me anymore and he thought I was on the same level. I thought I was but he is actually not completely wrong. The past 8 weeks we have done everything together and yes, this has drawn me back to him emotionally more than I suspected.
I have the impression that he will work on himself now, with or without OW2. Should I put boundaries on anything or simply let him go and see where it goes?
I'm still fine and dealing well with it. Will miss him but will also fade when he is gone.
Living with an MLC'er definitely is a soap...better when they are not around.
