I’ve been offline for a while… I’m sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and unsupported. It’s very hard to be the strong one for everyone and have no one really do that for you. I also have this problem. Thank goodness that this group is here and we are all with you…but I know it’s not exactly the same as having someone right there to hug you, say I got you, hand you a glass of wine and just do stuff for you so you can rest. And to really listen to you and be there for you.
I’ve been reading about how after the level of trauma we’ve been under how the ordinary (or even pleasant) can feel so, well, not right. It very well could be that when you go on these dates there is no chemistry, but I think after what has happened to you, it might be hard to really know you are actually not feeling chemistry versus just not feeling the familiar (as in trauma response). After all the drama, anything easy or good just feels off. At least that is what I am feeling and thinking is happening to me. Maybe it speaks to you as well?
I agree that judging someone on the first date isn’t always going to tell you what you need to know. If you had a nice time and would enjoy seeing the person again, what do you have to loose by going on a couple more dates and digging deeper into who someone is? Lord knows that the older we get, and the more drama we have experienced, the more we might be protecting ourselves and not really showing our true selves to others right away.
Anyway, hang in there. You are an awesome mom. It will get better. Just know it. Just be sure to fill your own tank. Hugs to you…
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
